With A Little Help From My Friends

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With practice and introspection, as well as the realization of some simple truths, I am ready to begin the next steps in my artistic journey.  This came about because of the feedback and support from Suzanne and all of my dear colleagues (yes..Zanna, Heidi, Tracy, and Susan, I mean you).  And, since all of you have been with me from the beginning, and have had such an impact on my growth, as we near the end of  of practice camp, I wanted to share my Next Big Plan.  After all, you did help me visualize it, and have had much to do with this outcome.

MY NEXT BIG PLAN

Suzanne told us in one of our last lessons that we should (or could) decide on "something" and become "experts" at it.  At the time, I was thinking subject matter, like flowers or birds or landscapes. never realizing at the time it could be  so much more.

Suzanne told me to put myself on a timer and reminded me that I did my best when I didn't fret over everything.  All of you said you loved my transparent colors.  Aha.  So, I thought, here's a strength At some point I decided, rather than dwell on what I can't do (or don't do  to my specs), I can build on my strengths, however undeveloped.  Maybe this is key to the kingdom?

My focus is no longer on the subject, but  technique.  This is where I hope to experiment and practice.  This is my Nest Big Plan.

Much of it has to do with ratio of water to paint.(DA, of course).  However, I  am still  learning how of that works. Tried to read about it, and that assisted somewhat, but have found it much more fascinating to experiment.  I added a couple of purples, since it is a favorite color and my mixing was not consistent and reliable,  but otherwise have kept my original palate.  Its easier to drop and drip when I am sure (almost always anyway ) I am not making mud.  Watching it spread is amazing! It does  funny things!  Fantasic!  Really.

I love to work with a light wash in broad strokes and little detail.  Sometimes we have to guess what I drew, but that's ok.  Sometimes I like it.  And then, there is the box of Not Ready For Prime Time projects under my desk.  It is quite full.  :)  And, guess what?  That's okay now too.

I have come to respect the medium.  The (watercolor) is the master, not me.  Presently we have a tenuous relationship because I do not fully understand all of her whimsical ideas AND she is not always willing to give up her secrets.  But, in time, I know we can develop a trust that will work for both of us.  (think adopted kitty).

It is not particularly evident in what I post, but, I can feel a difference in what I paint. I understand (although sometimes wonder) I am not bored to paint flowers eleventymillion times.   They never come out the same and in the end,  I know I have tried something different with a color or a brush or a drop of water that added a new dimension.   I am always learning something new (about what I already know)  and  do not find it repetitious.  

Last, but certainly not least, we ( Ms. Watercolor and me) have plans to escape.  

Not just on paper.  For however long I have left, and God only knows, I have found a way to just Be.  Happy. Who I am..  Honestly.

It involves something over and above what everyone expects and demands, and knowing it is ok to say no. It is the simple of joy of today.  Now.  This moment.  And the gratitude I feel in knowing the simply joys of this can not be described.

I am forever grateful to you Suzanne, for your leadership, and to my dear colleagues who have supported  me always, no matter what I posted.  I wanted, and needed, to go somewhere that was foreign to my world of deadlines and quotas where big boys played and little women did more with unsung  recognition.    Never before had I given myself permission to live here, nor did I know I could do so contentedly. All of you were instrumental in that passage.

Thanks, to everyone, from the bottom of my heart.  You are my heroes.

For Captain Gary

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

A dear friend passed away tonight after being in ICU for the past week and diagnosed with ALS on Monday.  

We  called him Captain Gary.  His job,   (and he loved it) was to ferry his wife and her friends around the lake on his boat, Compensation.  Oh, what fun we had!  Feeding ducks, floating around, skiing, sunning, reading, and just being.  

Today, as he was moved to palliative care.  I was taking care of his dog.  We  waited for the latest news.  I  thought we were going to be able to bring Shiloh to him at the hospital but alas, it never happened.  It was, however,   a long, long day.  

And so,  to pass the time, I painted.  Because I could.  Because I loved it. Because, it kept me calm and focused.  But mostly, because, who knows about tomorrow?  

And, then, for one other very special  realization.  

When I was at the house, doing this or that, while he was hospitalized I realized he had kept the birthday card I had painted for him, over a year ago. Before my first art lesson.  It was not a museum piece.  

It sat on the end table beside the couch where he always  read.  He wasn't a huge communicator, and never said anything, but, it must have meant something special to him.    

Funny isn't it, how the small things you do for people, mean more than you know?   Its not about the art, or its perfection, not really.  Its the gesture of giving, of doing, what you can, when you can.  

So, dear Captain, the paintings I did today, were inspired by you.  Thank you.  
Bless you.  Rest well.  

You were loved by so many and we will all miss you so very, very much.